So, I've been at this for hours, and I've tried several different approaches, but none have worked. I've tried one-click-root programs. I've tried manually with adb tools and the like. I've tried several commands that have worked to unlock the bootloader for other phones. I have allow OEM unlock and enable USB debugging checked.
I've come to believe that it's impossible. The phone's new on the market, so there doesn't seem to be much information about it specifically around and no LG-phone-related information has helped me. Fastboot seems to do nothing. I'm at a brick wall, so here I am, asking for help. If anyone knows some way I might go about rooting this phone, inform me.
My Android version is 6.0.1. If you need any more information, please let me know.