Android root..... I am an *****. Turns out my wife was right :(

So.... Its official. My wife was right, apparently I am an ***** - Help with root +
So, I thought that rooting my atrix would be a cinch. I am an old man now, but remember screwing around with the original palms without any trouble. "How hard can it be," that stupid voice in my head said. So So much harder!! Now, I have a fellow wanting to trade me a gun (I live Oregon, Suck it California!!) for the phone this weekend. He called me this morning, I started trying to root the S.O.B. yesterday. I totally boned it. Help Me!! PLEASSEE!
Now, another completely abstract but still vitally important aspect of this was that last night I had a couple margaritas, came home and took an ambian. Great for sleeping and fun, TERRIBLE for trying the complex task of rooting a phone. I did not charge the battery, so I had to hack a usb cord to charge it and am waiting for it to charge. 1 thing out of the way. Now I get to a screen with 10-12 different options, the only two of which it seems I am interested in are the Fast Boot and RSD. When I use the RSD tool (RSD lite 5.7) it says it is unable to get some sort of handle which according to the internets means I have to root it. Cool, I can muddle myself through this" I thought. Then I began looking it up. There is like 20 different ways to do it and some of them can brick the bad boy. ARRGGHHH. I do know that last week I checked the status update and saw that it was completely up to date.

So, please please guide me through this......

I need help.... What do I do now. I dont know if I rooted it or what. It says there is no OS. I put this here, and not the atrix forum, as far as it goes now it seems just a blank android issue but please tell me if I put it in the wrong place. I am neeewwwww. Take pity on me!

If I could trade this phone for a gun I would just shoot myself now... but I only have the dead phone and cant get the .22.

What a, wait for it... (its going to be great... the NCIS guy would put on sunglasses at this point....)

"Catch 22"

I amuse myself... but please help. I promise not to shoot myself either way, so dont get all excited and start calling the sheriff or anything (which does not even really matter, as one cannot shoot themselves with a gun they do not have or phone. If I had a working phone I could theoretically trade it for a gun. Thats how the catch 22 works... just look it up.... )

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